We’ve all done it. Just trying to save a dolla on looking fly for that big event that happens to fall smack dab in the middle of what I like to call “translucent season”. I went to the local Sally’s and bought the recommended aerosol tan in a can. I said “Self! No “regerts” looking back at those photos this year! You will not look like the walking dead AND be 20lbs overweight. It’s one or the other, sister!”. Disclaimer: those stems up there belong to a legend, and I am in NO WAY saying that I think her Highness Xtina is fat.
**Sidebar: I think that the tattoo fail of “No Regerts” will forever be my favorite. I feel like that would happen to me. Maybe my next tat shouldn’t have any words in it as a precaution. #winethoughts
Anywhoser... this is 2-0-1-9. There HAS to be a better option out there for self tanners!! I’m trying to be responsible and not lay in a cancer bed, and I come out looking like Tony the Tiger. We can put and man on the effing moon, but can’t develop self tanner than doesn’t leave my knees and elbows looking like I just finished 21 days on Naked and Afraid in South Georgia?! Get it together, beauty industry!
It baffles me that I can make my nails look like talans, my hair can grow 12 inches in one session, a pair of Spanx can take ten years off my ass, but the paleness cannot be corrected with a simple lotion that doesn’t make me look like Tre from RHONJ. Yeah, I watch that trashy show and I love EVERY minute of it. I also feel like me and Teresa are on a nickname basis, so there’s that.
I really do think this is the year of the tan, my friends! I’m going to make it my mission to try them all and document my findings on this here blog. Stay tuned. Sorry, SP Fox. You might disown me after this little experiment... or who knows?! Maybe you will like the variety. It’s like dying my hair, new wife who dis?!
Feel free to drop your self tan suggestions below to kick this thing off!
#theanxietymom #selfcare #selftanner #rhonj #ivehadbetterideas