She's Probably Medicated

I hope for "her" sake she is! I have struggled with anxiety (for sure) and possibly depression for approaching 12 years now (or possibly more... childhood wasn't an episode of The Brady Bunch for me). I have fought this giant with work, wine, weed (relax... that was pre-parent days),writing, and working out, to not much avail. One month ago, I threw in the towel.

Within the last 6 months or so my world has been flipped upside down. <--- understatement of the century. My mom, who is also my boss/business partner/best friend, has been diagnosed with ALS. The ache that my heart feels is absolutely indescribable. She is the most incredible mom and all around person that I know. She is what I want to be when I grow up. She has just completed a stem cell treatment in Thailand and we have big hopes for improvements in the coming months. Her father, who has always been one of my people, is battling cancer. He is battling this heinous disease because someone else knowingly put his life in danger when he was younger. He is the finest of human beings and the best grandfather in the world!! He has taught our entire family about love, hard work, and the value of a dollar (and the importance of leaving the dealership once you get them to their bottom line... "don't worry, Cristi, they'll call ya!"). While I have many others close to me that I adore and love, watching these two people struggle has been a particularly low point of my life.

I was doing okay before tax season, getting my ass kicked at boot camp three to four times a week and practicing breathing techniques so that Sally from Comcast didn't get punched through the phone when she wouldn't refund the $15 worth of bogus movies my kids ordered when "it never said buy on the screen!!".

​**Sidebar: Burn Bootcamp is the bomb and isn't for the faint of heart. If you're expecting Jesse Spano moves, then perhaps it isn't the class for you. Think more like P90X... in the flesh.**

​I had it all together... then... I didn't.

I don't mind tax season. I actually prefer to be busy than bored. No one would guess this, but I catch more squirrels in a day than most. 😉🐿 This season is different. This one is the first one that I am in control and have to not only help many people with their individual situations, but also comfort them as they deal with the news about my mom in their own way. I am forever grateful for our clients and the love and loyalty that they have shown us. They care and I know that because most of them are coming back. In order to be the best I could be for not only them, but most importantly, my family, I needed some help.

Long story short(er).... I had the weirdest doctor visit of my entire life when I went in to get what the medical assistant (that harassed, offended, mis-diagnosed, called me fat, and made me cry) called "the hook up". I literally thought I was being punked. I asked my PA where the cameras were when she came in the room. All strange things aside, after talking to my PA, I felt like I was making the right choice.

We are 30 days in and I feel like a better mom, wife, boss, and friend. My mind is more at ease and I can handle my life again. I never wanted to be the crazy lady on meds, but as it turns out- the ones on meds are generally NOT the crazies 😳. Who knew?!? I am so thankful for my smokin' hot, salt-n-pepper fox for being so supportive during this time. He has noticed a change in me and his support has been such a huge factor in adjusting to our "new normal". My stepdad has been taking care of my mom around the clock and I am so lucky God put him in our lives ❤. My grandmother is an angel for all she has done for my grandad and continues to do. Our families, our work families, and friends have been amazing through this as well. A crappy situation would be a whole lot worse if it weren't for people like them.

I guess my point is... If you need help, get it! (Even if you have to be treated like you're buying a dime bag on the corner by the MA.) There is no shame in my anti-anxiety game, and that's about as real as it gets, folks! Here's to a better you! #medsareokay #sallylived #mykidslikemeagain #FALS #cancersucks