I just want to take a moment to appreciate all of the women out there who love and care for another woman's child as if they were their own. You, yeah you, who just listened to someone else's child pitch an all out fit because the nugget to goldfish ratio wasn't equal, when you literally counted the fish to avoid this exact dilemma. I see you, stepmom who just took your stepchild to sports instead of going to your gym because his/her dad and mom had a prior engagement and the kid needed to be there. You listened all the way there about how their parent knows everything and you... not so much.
You. Are. Appreciated. Whether they show it or not. I would like to begin this post with the fact that my husband is very grateful for all I do for his child and is also very helpful in taking care of his stepchild. I am grateful to him for that. Every family has their moments, but I am lucky that in our little unit of five- we work as a team to get the job done. We yell. We struggle. It ain't perfect and it ain't pretty... but it's life and we roll with it. The natural parent will always do it better and we are okay with that, because we hope they feel the same way about us when they're away. The main objective for today is to plead with the mothers of the children being raised by step parents to appreciate the stepmama or stepdad in your life. Let's be honest for about 3 sentences or more. That shit is hard. It isn't 100% the same as having your own. Saying thank you to a woman who is doing something for your child that you, of course, would rather do yourself is like razors as the phrase crosses your tongue. Literally one of the most humbling things I have ever had to do as a mother... but over time it becomes natural and it is a relief to feel comfortable with another human wanting and willing to take care of your baby while you are not there. And if you are able to pull your head out of your ass for a moment and realize they are doing their best and coming from a place of love, it almost makes it okay that you have to share them with someone else. {I said almost.} Life choices = repercussions. Like it or not, it was your life decisions that got you to this place. Thankfully for me, I am okay with my position. In the words of the wise Whoopie Mary Clarence, "there's not a man today that could take me away from my guy." (With a little shoulder action of course. Damn that's a good movie.) I have found my person and am grateful for the road that led me to him. Let us take the honesty to a new level. You know good and well that he is not the one making every egg on Saturday morning (we know how I feel about my weekend eggs!) and washing that child's clothes after they pee the bed overnight. Do you think "she" woke up this morning dreaming about missing work to clean up puke all day because someone got a stomach bug? Nope. But she does it, because, while she isn't you, she loves that child too and wants him or her to feel better. She deserves some credit. Like a lot of credit. I'm less fishing for myself, and more expressing the gratitude I have for my son's bonus mom. Are we best friends? Nope. We are polar opposites. That's probably why they work and we didn't. For that, I am thankful. To have a good steady team on the other side (if there has to be one) is all a mom can hope for for her child. I wish them all of the happiness in the world, because that is my plan for my family, and since we're in this game together, it would be best if we weren't drafting new players every now and again. Bite the bullet. Say thank you. You can even tell her happy birthday if you want to. She will continue to love your little rascal as she has for the past however many days, months, years, whether you are nice or not. But I will promise you, from a child of a "broken family", one day he or she will look back and either resent the way you treated the other parents, or thank you for being a grown ass adult and swallowing your pride when shit got annoying. Dont sling mud. Sling fireball on "not your weekend" and deal with it. #nokidsnocontrol #fireballisneveragoodidea #choosewine
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