Not machine washable? Not in my house.

Dishes suck. They are a vital part of everyday living, though, so some shit needs to change before us moms lose our cool.

To anyone who makes/sells non-dishwasher and microwave safe children's dishes: please get with the program. Our kids eat more nuggets than the teenagers that work at Wendy's. We need to be able to nuke 'em on the fly, and wash the plates while we're at baseball. I mean for real, what is the purpose of a kid plate that can't go in the dishwasher? Most of the time when things can't be machine washed it's because it's nice and expensive, like a suit, or any piece of women's clothing ever. (I'm convinced S&P Fox 🦊 has effed up laundry on purpose on multiple occasions so he doesn't have to do it anymore.) These plates cost about $2 each. They deserve the dishwasher. Wine glasses - hand wash. Yeti cups - hand wash. Dora bowl - get your bilingual ass in that dishwasher. From this point on, the warning on the label is just a challenge. Survival of the fittest, if the Ana cup survives and the Elsa cup doesn't, then we clearly know who the queen bitch around the Jones castle is. It's 2k17, folks, I should be able to machine wash my pets for crying out loud.

To our beloved children whom think it is acceptable to put the dirty plate NEXT to the sink after I have just emptied the dishwasher and started to re-load: NO. Just NO. You didn't even put the shit in the sink. So close. You're big enough to cook your own nugs, therefore you can load a damn dishwasher. You get with the program, too, minion.

To the husbands that resemble a hurricane when they step foot into the kitchen: while I very much appreciate that you are participating in the struggle that is cooking in this house, it is not necessary to use EVERY mixing bowl we own when making your Aunt Betty's famous potatoes. Rinse and re-use, mate. Unless you are going to hand wash those bad boys once the dishwasher gets full. This is highly unlikely in the Jones house of crazy. We get squirreled pretty easily after dinner, or lunch, or any time. So. Many. Squirrels. 🐿🐿🐿 Sometimes I walk in after him and consider calling the cops because someone has clearly broken into our home and ransacked our kitchen! Then I remember that we had Daddy's homemade pancakes for breakfast and I hang up the phone. SPF makes a mean breakfast, y'all.

The kitchen is the hub of the home. If the hub is in shambles, Mom is likely to be a real you know what. We need your help, little family, to keep our sanity and keep this boat afloat. Do a dish, save a life.

*Thanks Crazyhyena.com for the meme. I just steal these images off the inter-webs most of the time. Not sure if I am allowed to do that. #cybercrime

#theanxietymom #dishesdontdothemselves #getwiththeprogramorscram