Toddlers are little tiny terrorists. They are wicked smart and will often times make sacrifices for the cause. Pretty sure Teagan would jump in front of a power wheel for a pack of fruit snacks. I'm not sure if it is the age gap between our middle and our little, but this new dictatorship going on in the Jones house of crazy lately has got me drinking a lot more wine than normal. Relax, Judgy Judys, I'm not riding around town with a forty in the cup holder... mommy just needs a little more juice before bed these days.
Our oldest was (is) the kindheart. She is a sweet little lady and by far the easiest of the three when it comes to discipline. We look at her and start to say the word "disappointed" and that's all it takes. She is smart, determined, therefore a little bossy, and a big time rule follower. When the bigs were three and one, we would preface an incoming tattle with "you better make sure it's worth it...", which most of the time it was not. I am blessed to have that little goody two-shoes in my life and wouldn't change her for the world! Her three year old version of the pledge of allegiance still makes my heart melt... "and to the Publix, for which it stands..." 🤣 She will be a good teacher one day. Or an FBI informant. Either way, gainfully employed.
My middle is the dramatic one. When he was a toddler he would follow me around the house banging his head on the floor when he didn't get his way, yelling "You're a choice!!" when I told him that he didn't have a choice as to whether or not to behave. A little rain man-esque? Sure, but it all worked out. He didn't kill too many brain cells and is as sharp as a tack these days. He potty trained, ditched the bottle, and took naps like a champ! Now he makes great grades, is a dancing fool, loves spending time with his family, and always knows when I'm telling him a lie. (You know you lie to your kids. We all do it. It's part of the privilege of raising these little friends.) He is my first baby and will always have that piece of my heart. He will probably be the Tom Cruise of his generation, minus the weird Scientology shit.
The littlest Miss is our firecracker. She is "Bird". I love this child. I prayed for this child (and subsequently myself). I don't know a cuter, funnier two year old in the world, and she has my heart forever... but never in my life did I think I would be bartering fruit snacks for scissors, or praying before getting out of the car that she doesn't burn down the restaurant at dinner. She is sassy and super smart assy, and I have no idea where she gets it from 🙄. She is constantly hiding things (like important shit) and saying "I don't know?" when catching a charge. Timeout lasts 4.5 seconds, and it seems that in my older age I have forgotten how to count to three. "One..... Two...... Two and a half, like that's how old you are and you better get in here before I get to three and ship all of your toys to an orphanage...... Three..... Teagan!!!!.... okay I'm going back to two, but this is the last time!" <---- Grow a pair, lady!! Who have you become?!?
My kid will not be on Dr. Phil talking mess about "catch me outside" when she is twelve. We need to reel this attitude in a bit. It's cute until she gets shipped off to Turnabout Ranch and becomes someone else's headache. I vow to relearn how to count to three, watch more shows about criminals to better understand her behavior, and raise a good little person, like the two before her. Here's to the grand finale!!
#winethoughts #thingstoworkon #babyfactoryisclosed #justonemore