Jesus of Necklaces, It’s Not That Serious.

The word “Jesus” in our house means a lot, but maybe a little more than it should lately. Hear me out...

”Jesus! I think I broke my arm.” (I did.)

”I pray to the Lort my intoxicated self did not just get a concussion on our trampoline!” (I did.)

”Jesus of Nazareth, child! Where are your shoes?!?”
”Jesus of Necklaces, Mommy! I. Don’t. Know!!!”

”Lort help her if she gets out of that bed one more time.” (She did. Teagan is the thirstiest camel this side of the Sahara when bed time rolls around.)

”With JC as my witness, if that damn dog pooped in the office again, I’m going to lose my shit!!!!!” (She did. And I did.)

All. Unacceptable. It hit me like a ton of bricks the other day when our youngest terrorist (3, white female, wanted for: messy room, sassy ass mouth, wearing her shoes on the wrong feet - 100% of the time, and now using the Lord’s name in vain) was trying to get from one boat to another during a family day on the lake. (Relax... we knew them. It wasn’t like the sketchy ice cream boat or anything.) She kept muttering something under her breath and sure as a redneck eats Spam, that child was saying “Jeezzzuuussss. Jeezzzuuussss.” I immediately knew this was my doing.

I have TONS of anxiety (duh), and I may be just a skosh dramatic, and I absolutely use the Lord’s name in vain on a regular basis. Lord, I apologize, and be with the starving (oh wait... that joke’s taken. I may be a sinner, but a plagiarizer I am not). I digress. Usually (aka always) when I use those types of phrases it is because I am late, stressed, or hangry. My anxiety is not debilitating, mostly because of Dr. Prozac, but the last thing I want to do to my little mini me is create an environment where EVERYTHING is end of the world and stresses her out, and subsequently give her the stress I feel on a daily basis. I have to do better. I have to be better. Otherwise I’ll get reported to DFCS when she starts needing a good Pinot to wind down after a stressful day at the Primrose Pre-K.

I have recently read the most life changing book. It is called “Girl, Wash Your Face”, by Rachel Hollis. That woman is not only a wordsmith, but a God send to anyone who is lucky enough to read her work. Do yourself a favor, ladies. Get it on Audible and listen during carpool/commute/fake trips to the grocery store just for some sanity/whatever! I mention this book because before I read it, upon realizing that I am a terrible influence on my child when it comes to swearing by the Lord, I would have beat myself up so bad and dwelled on the negative, instead of making a conscious effort to change it. You can’t change the shit that happened yesterday. You can only do better today. So that’s what I’ll do. I can’t promise she won’t hear a curse word this week, but I can promise that I will try harder to make her understand when and how we talk about Jesus and why it matters.

#thingstoworkon #theanxietymom #girlwashyourface #rachelhollisisamazing