“Bark! The Jones House Angels Sing!”

🎼Bark! The Jones House Angels sing!
Mom, you should get ready to clean.
Sleep is out and this shit ain’t mild,
God and the FLU have not reconciled.

Miserable all ye children rise,
Even if it be in the middle of the night.
With the father rolling over to claim,
”I have to work” Um... yeah. Same.
Bark! The jones House Angels sing,
Our mom’s plans don’t mean a thing!🎼

Have I told you lately how much I love these little people of mine?! Well you need to hear it before reading this post. I love their guts. That term has a more literal feel to it this week. And no, this isn’t solicitation for vaccination advice, nor a place to bash moms that don’t bask in the glory that is cleaning up puke and being forced to do laundry every two hours for a week. I should have known on Sunday when I laid my head on my pillow and said “SP Fox... I’m gonna crush it at work this week! I’m going to get so much done and be so prepared for Jesus’ big day this year!” Commence the seal like cough from both children’s rooms.

”Moooooooom!!!!” From the boy in the bathroom at 3 am is NEVER a good sign. I can promise you he isn’t cleaning toilets in the wee hours of the morning and just misplaced the Ajax. Yep. He’s got it. What “it” is ... welp that’s our mystery to solve, Scoobs! With the help of the doc, of course, they have a higher accuracy rate than web MD. Well hell. It’s the flu. Buckle up, Daphne. It’s gonna be a long effin’ week.

​Day 2, bum bum (Law and order style)... “Husbaaaaaaaaand” From the mom in the bathroom is NEVER a good sign. I can also guarantee you SHE ain’t cleaning toilets at 3 am! There aren’t many things harder than caring for a sick child when you, too, are so sick you have genuine anxiety if getting further than 20 ft from the loo. Priority one = give child meds and comfort. Priority two = change your own pants for the ninety seventh time today. Why, you ask? Because coughs. That’s why. The flu comes with coughs and should also come with a complimentary pack of Depends! God love those children and the miracle of childbirth.

Day 3 bing bong bing bong (National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation style)...

Boom! The littlest terrorist is hit like a ton of bricks! 104 fever and slightly narcoleptic. Ay chihuahua! We practically bathed in hand sanitizer for the last three days. Back to the doc we go! Upon arrival, of course, she pretends she is 💯 (kind of like her mom does when she’s had a couple glasses of wine too many 🤦‍♀️) and the doc almost doesn’t give us the meds, but she must have seen the liquid anxiety running down my cheek from thinking about a Christmas where bird has the flu, because she quickly checked herself and started writing. Thank you tiny Jesus, for that Christmas miracle.

We’re on the mend and back in action. Operation sterilize the house AND only wear one pair of pants per day is underway, Friends! Lookout Jesus Cristo... your bday is gonna be a rager!

#nottodaysatan #theanxietymom #fluisforthebirds