Advice for Teenager Cristi

As a parent, the best resources we have are the lessons we have learned the hard way. In trying to raise good people, it is helpful to look back and think about what we could have done differently. I often times ponder about what I would tell my 16-20 year old self (after I shook the shit out of her for making so many dumb choices) and I have narrowed it down to a few key points:

1. Being "cool" doesn't matter nearly as much as you think it does. Don't be mean OR let your friends be mean!! The people y'all are being so ugly to may end up being your husband and best friends you've got some day... and you'll be lucky if they give you a second chance. Your future husband and best friends probably wouldn't have voted you Miss Congeniality '03. Just sayin'.
2. Don't drink and drive. Oh, but you won't fit in if you don't lie to your parents and drink that Smirnoff before driving home on a Friday night? 😩Tough shit, sister. You're going to be real cool if you end up in jail for an underage DUI and possibly ruin your life or someone else's if you have an accident. Don't be as dumb, please.
3. He suuuuuuuuucccckkkkkssssss. Maybe one day he will be a fine young gentleman who respects women, but for now... he isn't that guy. Put on some Aretha and find some self worth, girl! You're smart, fun, and some folks think you're nice lookin'. You don't need him. K? K. To the left, to the left. Bye.
4. Be alone. You will not find happiness in another person, in a bottle, a bong, or anywhere else for that matter. You will not make a good partner until you know yourself. Find yourself and then look for someone else. You've got a long road ahead of you and if you do this first it will be much easier.
5. Don't wear overalls on your first day of college. For the love of all things Holy, burn them! That shit will end up on your college ID that your best friend will get a hold of and you will be blasted for years. You are no Laney Boggs. (No clue what I was thinking. I should have dressed like Cher. #clueless #totallybuggin #rollinwiththehomies)
6. Crimp your hair everyday if you want to. It will be way more acceptable at your age than at 30 somethin' when you are just looking for a reason to crimp and wear neon. (Get ready, Bunco girls! September's theme is 80's Night this year!)
7. Last but certainly not least... Don't be afraid to love Jesus. I'm not saying be celibate and dedicate your life to spreading the gospel in a third world country (although a very admirable thing to do). I'm just saying that you have some pretty trying times coming up on your journey, and he is a fella that would probably be pretty helpful to have in your corner through that mess. Drink wine, hang with your friends, kiss your boyfriend, but Lort have mercy, would you please just go to church with your mama every once and again?!

There are so many things I would want to say to my younger self, but a part of me is so grateful that I can't. My life wouldn't be what it is today, and I wouldn't have some pretty tough life lessons to share with my kids when they're ready. I am thankful to be able to self reflect so that my kids will (hopefully) make better choices than I one day.


*Sidebar: I'm still weird about my children wearing overalls because of that ridiculous college ID. I'll post the picture in the comments once I find it. You're welcome in advance. 🤓*

---